In 1980 at Rollins College, graduation approached for me with a realization - college hadn’t changed me. Four years of higher education and I was no different than when I’d arrived. A new chapter – life after Rollins – loomed. Opening that chapter, I wanted to be different than I had been. I wanted to be changed. The following occurred over the span of about 3 months. Looking back, I believe God was laying groundwork to make me ready for a new life.
The first groundwork laid came to me like a random thought that wondered if I was a “sinner.” I responded (in my head) “of course not - I don’t steal, I never killed anyone…” But one day not long after, my Chi Psi fraternity brother Bill Kennedy overheard me cuss a string of expletives that included “Jesus Christ!” Bill shouted to me from his room next door, “You know Herb, it’s a sin to take the Lord’s name in vain.” His words removed a blinder, and I knew he was right.
The second bit of groundwork came a few months later, and also at Chi Psi. I was in a friend’s room when in my head, I sensed another seemingly random question. “Why don’t you give your life to God?” In my head, I immediately responded with an honest answer - “I don’t know how.” Looking back, I see that simple question opened a door to the idea that God might have plans for my life. My honest answer left the door open if He’d show me how.
The third piece of groundwork came a few weeks later. An old friend, Lee Ramsdell, came to my room to work on our senior project. Lee and I had partied on and off since our freshman year. But now, the word around campus was that Lee had believed in God and put that stuff behind him. To me, it seemed like too big of a sacrifice. But Lee was pumped. God had changed his life, and what he’d given up felt to him like nothing compared to what God had given him.
Lee saw me opening to what he was saying, and not long after, he suggested I go to a Tuesday night Christian service for young people called Rock House. I felt embarrassed thinking my fraternity bros would learn I’d gone. But bigger than embarrassment, I wanted to be changed – and Lee convinced me that God could do it. A few nights later, I went to the service led by Alex Clattenburg who made clear our need for God and how Jesus bridged the divide with God.
As the service wound down, Alex asked us to close eyes and bow heads, and he invited us to raise a hand if we wanted God and Jesus to come into our lives. On that Tuesday night in May 1980, I raised my hand - not out of a sense of guilt (though I’d realized I was a sinner), but because now I believed that God, Jesus and I had a mutual interest – a new me – and I believed They could deliver. As I write this 44 years later, God hasn’t let me down.
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